


The House of Lamentation Text Log

by Varydox



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: F/M, texts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:34:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22419355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Varydox/pseuds/Varydox
Summary: Just going to be a collection of texts between the boys and OC/MC, Penelope Carson.
Relationships: Asmodeus/Main Character (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Beelzebub & Main Character (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Belphegor & Main Character (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Leviathan & Main Character (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Lucifer/Main Character (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Main Character & Satan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Main Character/Mammon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 61





	1. Bed Wed Behead

**Author's Note:**

> I have like 10 notes on my phone of Obey Me fic stuff, this was just something fun I thought of and figured I'd out it up.
> 
> Nelly is in a poly relationship with Beel and Mammon.
> 
> ETA: all of the boys have potential to be a partner

Asmo: You know what we haven't done in awhile?

Levi: here we go...

Asmo: BWBH!!!

Beel: no.

Nells: what's BWBH?

Satan: it's a silly game of Asmo's. Bed, Wed, Behead

Nells: oh

Nells: so Fuck Marry Kill?

Asmo: it sounds so crass and unromantic when you say it that way.

Beel: I don't like this game.

Levi: why haven't I blocked your number, Asmo?

Asmo: You wound me, brother dear.

Asmo: c'mon, Nelly! Of the seven of us, who would you BWBH?

Lucifer: just ignore him, Penelope. You won't hurt anyone's feelings if you don't play along.

Nells: is it cliche to say I wouldn't want any of you beheaded? Just have y'all join a harem? 

Belphie: boo!

Satan: yes.

Nells: fine, give me a second.

Asmo: obviously, bed Beel because that body is 🔥 wed Belphie cuz he's just such a cutie, and behead Mammon because.. well who's actually going to bed or wed him.

Mammon: WHAT THE FUCK 

Mammon: PLENTY OF PEOPLE WOULD

Mammon: AND THEY'D BE HONORED

Mammon: I hate you 

Satan: Nelly?

Nells: fuck Mammon, marry Beel, kill Levi. Just because he'd probably respawn.

Asmo: you don't have to pick Mammon, my lovely human, not when I am so available.

Nells: nah. Mammon's good at it.

Levi: wow.

Satan: smoothe

Belphie: well that's just gross.

Nells: I mean, I imagine he might be.

Nells: not that I imagine that

Nells: ever 

Lucifer: what an unfortunate turn this has taken.

Mammon: delete this.


	2. What were you doing?

Mammon: Guys

Mammon: Guys, have you seen my DDD?

Levi: Oh you, poor idiot.

Lucifer: Have you checked your hands?

Mammon: This isn't Mammon

Mammon: It's Nelly. I can't find my DDD

Asmo: Mammon just gave you his DDD?

Mammon: He's letting me borrow it real quick. Seriously, has anyone seen it?

Beel: It's not in the kitchen

Mammon: Thanks, Beel. 

Satan: Where have you looked?

Mammon: I've checked my room, my bag, the dining room... I just had it an hour ago.

Satan: What were you doing an hour ago?

Lucifer: Found it.

Satan: ...

Asmo: ...

Beel: ...

Levi: ...

Levi: this is bullshit.


	3. Sick Part 1

Belphie: Right, nobody panic.

Satan: Why would we panic?

Nells: Belphie, it's fine, ok?

Belphie: Nelly is sick.

Mammon: WHADDYA MEAN YOU'RE SICK?!

Nells: I'll be fine, guys.

Nells: It's probably just a cold or something.

Beel: I'll make you some soup.

Nells: You really don't have to.

Mammon: Yeah, bro, cuz I'M gonna make her some soup.

Nells: Nobody make me soup.

Asmo: I have some amazing masks that might help you feel refreshed.

Satan: Would you like for me to bring you some books? 

Nells: Guys, seriously.

Lucifer: That's enough, all of you. 

Nells: Thank you, Lucifer.

Lucifer: I'll ask Lord Diavolo if Barbatos can bring over some soup.

Nells: Ugh.


	4. Sick Part 2

Nells: Okay, for the millionth time, guys, I'm going to be fine.

Belphie: Sure.

Asmo: Of course, love.

Satan: We hear you loud and clear.

Nells: Then why can I hear you all outside my door?

Levi: outside your door, nobody is.

Nells: Lie to me, do not.

Levi: ❗❗❗

Nells: I'm sick, not stupid. 

Nells: JJJJJJJSNSBbsnajndnsh jdj

Mammon: No need to thank me, I got her.

Lucifer: What is happening up there?

Levi: LMAO I think Nelly bit Mammon 

Asmo: Aw, Nelly! I had no idea you were into that sort of thing!

Belphie: Ew.

Satan: What's her temperature?

Beel: Did she eat the soup?

Levi: She ate the soup 👍🏻

Beel: 👍🏻

Belphie: But what's her temperature?

Levi: Stupidmammon says 103

Satan: 103?!

Asmo: I thought that was too high for a human?

Belphie: Dumbass probably read it wrong

Levi: 103 F

Beel: Oh.

Lucifer: That's still high for a human.

Belphie: So we should call a doctor?

Lucifer: I'll call Diavolo.

Levi: Take your time, the video I'm taking is going to get so many views on DevilTube ROFLMAO

Satan: I worry about you, Levi.


	5. Two Dads and a Cherub

Beel: I saw Solomon and Simeon talking to Nelly during rush.

Mammon: WHAT?!

Beel: Mhm

Mammon: ASMO TELL YOUR STUPID BOYFRIEND TO STAY THE HELL AWAY

Asmo: He’s not my boyfriend, you dolt. Nell, what did they want?

Nells: Uh… Luke wanted me to spend the night at Purgatory Hall, but he was too nervous to ask me.

Belphie: Damned Chihuahua.

Nells: I thought it was cute, like a kid asking his parents if he can have a friend over.

Lucifer: Except Solomon and Simeon are the parents.

Nells: Aw, they’d make such a cute couple


End file.
